You’ve just put the kids to bed, the wine has been poured and the new season of “Orange is the New Black” is cued up and ready to go.
Then your perfect evening is ruined by the all-too-familiar thumps and giggles of awakeness. It's the sound of your children rising from their beds like vampires determined to suck the relaxation out of your night.
Know that Disney’s got your back.
At least until Aug. 31.
Disney: Your newest babysitter
As the nation’s most responsible (if unofficial) babysitter, Disney is offering a sleep hotline in which iconic characters tell kids, in the most gentle ways possible, it’s time to go to sleep.
Just call 877-7-MICKEY (that’s 877-764-2539, not as easy to remember but so much easier to dial). Punch the appropriate number to hear the bedtime message from the mice (Mickey and Minnie), the ducks (Donald and Daisy) or the dog (Goofy). You get one character per call, so plan accordingly.
(And maybe it's just me, but Donald still sounds more like a monster under the bed than a duck. Not sure, but he may be saying, “It’s so comfy down here, join me.”)
Once your kids have listened to some pabulum they’ll probably see right through, you can return to the living room knowing that you at least tried as you slip on the noise-canceling headphones.